Lindsay Lohan’s character in Mean Girls said it best:

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

It’s so true and it’s progressively gotten worse, hasn’t it? Think back to when you were a kid.

This Halloween because of the whole Twilight craze, you can expect to see the streets packed with boys dressing up as some kind of vampire. Their costumes will consist of jeans, a flannel, and of course vampire fangs. No greased back hair, no cape, just a lame attempt to be Edward Cullens. Zzzzz… Zzzz… Zzzz…

But what’s even more boring and predictable is how many tweens will dress up as Bella. The sad part is they won’t just dress up as Bella, they’ll dress up as SEXY Bella. Remember the real Bella was frumpy, pale, and always brooding; a girl living in the Northwest an area almost devoid of sexiness. I can say that I live in Miami.

Yet they’ll try. Her jeans will become daisy dukes, her flannel, strategically unbuttoned to show off her breasts and midriff, her hair teased with so much hairspray it would puncture holes in the crisp clear air of Forks, WA. She’ll be wearing bright blood red lipstick. See where I’m going? Edward wouldn’t have fallen in love with sexy Bella. He would have eaten her like a piece of Halloween candy.

Here are some other sweet tarts he would have devoured…

Is nothing sacred??? What a bunch of tricks!!! Ladies, take it from me, a guy, you don’t have to show this much skin to be sexy.

In fact, it’s sexier if your costume has some creativity. These Hollywood icons (below) are a treat and still sexy, without being scary sexy.  If you need more help read Trendspotter’s post on Halloween costumes; it has some clever ideas.

Not sure whether your costume makes you a trick or a treat? Let me break it down for you.

Trick

• Your costume revolves around your breasts.
• You take something that’s not sexy like a bee, put on a bra, and call yourself a ‘Sexy Bee.’ STUPID!!
• You alter the classics and turn pure into porno. Poor Rainbow Bright.
• On Halloween you need to wear a jacket because your fishnets aren’t keeping you warm enough.

Treats

• Strong independent characters
• Costumes that leave something to the imagination.
• Your mid-drift is covered, unless you’re the “Little Mermaid” or something that requires it to be exposed.
• Costumes your dad would let you out of the house in.

Ladies don’t be a Halloween Whore-or, be a sweet thrill instead!

Giving it to you straight,

Left-Tie