Taking the Stand: Mirdles a.k.a Man Spanx

Let’s Review the Case: When Oprah revealed the power of Spanx on her show, it wasn’t long before the spandex undergarments became a household name and a dirty lil’ secret of millions of WOMEN. Even Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessica Alba admitted to wearing Spanx regularly. Being able to eat a Krispy Kreme donut and then have an undergarment shape away your problem areas brought on a new found confidence. The smooth lines once only seen in the airbrushed pages of magazines were now accessible to the everyday women.

Of course it wasn’t long before image conscience MEN caught drift and began thinking, “I can guzzle down a second pitcher of beer and not have to worry about my gut.” Add the pressures of our Queer Eye for the Straight Guy/metrosexual culture and you have the ideal catalyst for the resurgence of Guy Spanx.

We use the word resurgence because the idea behind men wearing Spanx isn’t totally new. Back in the days when one would pose to have their portrait painted, men wore Spanx, only they called them corsets. (Refer to Exhibit A)

Today, we refer to them as Spanx or Mirdles (men + girdles), but as you can see from the evidence, they haven’t changed much in style.

Guy Spanx primarily hide a man’s gut and love handles, his biggest problem areas. With pants they look like a regular tank top or a fitted shirt. (Refer to Exhibit B)

But just like those for the ladies, some versions are used to enhance the back and the front.

It seems even some men want a booty like Beyoncé and of course more junk up front. (Refer to Exhibit C)

Evidence:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

So members of The Pretty Committee, are Guy Spanx smooth criminals or should the ‘Don’t ask, Don’t tell policy’ be enacted?

Left-Tie: The enhancing Spanx are “Spanx Gone Wild.” Ladies I don’t think you need to worry  about your man in spanx. From what I’ve seen these are sold and marketed primarily to your fabulous guy pals if you catch my drift.  Having said that, I think the only part of a man’s body that should be wrapped up like a sausage is below the waist. And WITHOUT help from anything in exhibit C!!!!!!

Trendspotter: I hate to be the one to say it, but there’s a total double standard when it comes to Spanx. I would NEVER date a guy who wore them. Can you imagine finding out your man wears Spanx? All sorts of questions would start running through my head (and I’m referring to regular Spanx here). If I discovered any of the garments shown in Exhibit C were in play, that’s grounds for immediate dismissal. I have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to male enhancement of any kind.

Lady Lex: This is pretty hilarious! Men in Spanx? I don’t know… I’m gonna have to draw a line somewhere. As much as I appreciate them going through the same efforts us girls do, it just doesn’t look or sound good. I think I’d rather pretend these things don’t exist. Sorry boys… looks like you won’t be able to cut corners on this one, better head to the gym instead and leave the Baboosh at home too.

Jess: HA HA, this is an interesting one. Judging from the photots, those men do not need to be wearing MIRDLES.  They have nice bods. However, I would be a little disappointed if a man took off his shirt, then had to take off his mirdle to reveal a huge gut. I admit, we women do the same thing, but I feel like it is different for a man.  The butt enhancers and junk enhancers are a total turn-off.  I wouldn’t know what to say. In conclusion, I would give this trend a citation… I believe a man needs to be comfortable in his own skin, and a girl needs to like a man for who he is.  Let it all hang out!

Ashley: This is one those Style on Trials where I can’t help but giggle like a 9 year-old. Exhibit C really sent me into a tizzy. Now, if you’re telling me you can turn a Homer Simpson-type into a gorgeous Italian Supermodel (see Exhibit B), well I might just be game. Who doesn’t want prettier scenery? On the other hand I can only imagine the awkward “Bridget Jones”-esque moment trying to peel past the layers. I say, stick with fitted tees, but leave the “enhancement” behind.

Posh Hippie: I am so against this stuff I can’t even begin to articulate it. Call me sexist, but can the obsessing over minor bulges please stay in the realm of the female? Does the suffering really have to jump genders? This is not what the womens movement people had in mind. Sure, it’s equality, but in the wrong direction. Hey guys! If you’ve got a problem with your belly, work out! You have the genetic advantage of being able to burn fat and build muscle faster, please stay out of our body-conscious hell. Although, I suppose with these garments there would be plenty of room for everyone down here.

Verdict: We’d so much rather you just hit the gym.

XOXO,
The Gals and Guy of INPT