You’ve all seen them… Shoes so blindingly white and tellingly-scuffed, they clearly belong on a cross-dressing hooker. Thought so.

You probably shook your fist at the sky and cursed the day anyone ever made a chartreuse dress that couldn’t be paired with a single other color on the planet, leaving you with only one, horrifying option– WHITE. Before you toss the dress in the Goodwill pile and wish the next owner good freakin’ luck, take a moment to peruse the INPT guide on ‘How to Wear White Shoes Without Looking Like a Hooker.’ It may just save the day.

Rule #1: Avoid shoes that are white all over.

Pierre Dumas’s ‘Nadine’ Sandal $49.

Clearly this first option is a bit of a cheater – featuring “gemstones” to add a touch of color to an otherwise boring flat white sandal. But, it’s a great price and you can wear it with just about any color!

DEAL ALERT: These leather flip flops from Victoria’s Secret are on sale for $12.99! This is the most simple, perfect flip flop to express your white amour.

Classic Thong $12.99 (orig. $29)

Rule #2: When shopping for white wedges, look for a tan accent heel. Espadrilles or tan accents are the best and most versatile. Sometimes you’ll see it accented with a black wedge– too harsh unless you just want it for one specific look.

Nine West’s Nathaniel 3 $29.99

Nine West has been making almost this exact same shoe for what seems like eons. I don’t love it or hate it, it just is. A basic white sandal with a tan accent heel.  It works and it’s ON SALE!

Rule #3 Be wary of logos.

Tory Burch ‘Miller’ Logo Thong $195

If you’re OK putting your foot in a logo, this Tory Burch shoe is the one to go for. Please, at all costs, prevent any Coach paraphernalia from getting near your toes. Nothing says potential knock-off/desperately seeking middle class approval than Cs scattered all over your toes- especially in white- dirty in a second!

Rule #4 Examine the Heel. When in doubt, email The Pretty Committee at info@ineedprettythings.com for guidance.

Last, but certainly not the least offensive– the white heel. This is the most sly of the species because no matter if it is leather, patent, satin (I know don’t throw up quite yet) or canvas, this little gem is the quandary of white shoe existence. L.A.M.B. is quirky, yes, but fabulous, also yes. This time around they’ve won me over with this artistic little diddy:

L.A.M.B. ‘Fabienne’ Sandal $355

Ok, I kind of feel like I cheated because the L.A.M.B. shoe is technically ivory, but, after further review I can sincerely say it is the best out there.

Two shoes that don’t come in white, but should. Designers and buyers, are you listening ? We need your help!

Lauren by Ralph Lauren ‘Cecilia‘

Corso Como ‘Summer’ Thong Sandal

Rule #5: Stay clear of offenders like these.

Know of another white shoe that should be put on the offenders list? Post it in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

Cheers,
Ashley