With all the online registries popping up these days (WishList and MyRegistry) urging you to share your latest desires with everyone in your email contacts list, it’s hard to know when it’s appropriate to actually use a registry.
Looking for answers, we turned to etiquette expert Mindy Lockard from Gracious Living. Mindy, being the gracious women that she is, shared her thoughts for us in this guest blog:
I’ve been asked about the Holiday Registries that are popping up in the retail world. Before you start making your list and checking it twice, keep these Gracious Living suggestions in mind:
Registries were designed to help friends and family of a bride and groom or expecting mom and dad communicate their nesting needs not necessarily their wants. Even in these situations those with the lists should be careful how they make their needs known. Passing out the registry cards, inserting them into invitations or verbally telling someone (when the information is unsolicited) isn’t the most gracious approach.
Just because your favorite store has a registry doesn’t mean you should use it. Although designed to be helpful, wish lists can take the fun out and add pressure to the shopping experience for friends and family. There is a big difference between, “I would love a silver frame” and “I’d love this silver frame.”
What to do? Have a mental list with a range of items – please keep your range reasonable— that you can give your friends and family when they ask. Even when requested, we should be careful in how we present our desire for presents – such as, I don’t recommend preprinted lists. However, when friends and family ask for specific stores or items, it is the green light to make your specific wants known!
There is something magical about being creative in the gift giving and receiving process. Even when you receive a gift that was not on your wish list, it’s a reminder of how fortunate you are to have people who think enough about you to bless you this season!
Happy Holidays and ‘tis the season for Gracious Giving and Gracious Living!
We’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject of gift registries. Leave your comments below.
Filed Under: Uncategorized, What's Hot
Tags: etiquette, Guest Blogger, Guest Contributor, Holiday Gift Registries, Holiday Wishlists, Mindy Lockard
Thank you for hosting me today! It’s an honor to be among such beautiful things.
Thanks Mindy, I would’ve made a huge Christmas no-no by sending out a “wish list”. Close call. Thanks for the heads up.
I don’t necessarily agree with this advice. I use myregistry to send my holiday wishlist to family and friend who have asked me what I would like. I think as long as you are polite about it and don’t send it to people who haven’t asked then it’s definitely a useful tool to use for the holidays.
Dina, what you are saying seems similar to a lot of what Mindy said. It does depend on the relationship though. When I was a kid, we used Christmas to get stuff we needed, like shoes and sports equipment. Those items might have not been special gifts in other people’s families, but for us the majority of the funds needed to be used for practical items. But my mom would always try to work in a surprise or two to add some of that “magic” to the holiday. I agree with Mindy that there is something special about not knowing exactly what you are going to get. And if you don’t like someone’s interpretation of a general wish, say the silver frame, well then you can always return it. Gift giving should be more than an exchange of valuables, and registries take some of the creativity out of the process. On the other hand, if someone is really hard to shop for or super judgmental and thus not a joy to give to, then i can see the registries being a stress reducer.
I think holiday registries are a bit much – especially for adults! To each his own, though.
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I have never heard of holiday registries. That’s crazy! Of course, I am not one to ask for anything. “It’s better to give than to receive!”
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